Junk Mail Mountain

Do you hear the trees screaming?  I mean, seriously how many forrests are wiped clear each year in the name of junk mail?  Ugh!  I hate junk mail and therefore since 80% or more of all mail we receive is in fact junk mail, I hate going through the mail.  Since I have yet to find a fairy godmother who will clean my house and eliminate all unpleasant chores, this means it stacks up around my house until the guilt monkey jumps on my back and won't let up... like today... and I finally go through the stack. 

 

This is a chore that for some reason I put off longer than any other.  I would rather scrub toilets or even do the dreaded laundry before sorting the mail.  Yes, I realize it would be easier to toss the junk mail as I get it but who am I to take the easy route?  Noooo, I have to be difficult and let it build up until it covers my entire bar.  With a sudden shock or lab accident, it could easily morph into the Junkmail Monster that ate Cleveland!  (okay, yes, I know I watched toooo many B horror movies growing up).  Plus the evil mail marketers have gotten smart and disguised worthless junk mail to look like important mail... it comes in nondescript bill-looking envelopes, those printy foldy things that look like the old W2 forms, and all kinds of stuff that I just can't bear to toss until I at least open them to make sure they're not really something important.  Then I open them and think... "Ugh!  Got me!  It's just worthless crap!"  No I don't want to sell my timeshare - mainly because I've never owned a timeshare.  No I don't want 3 million more credit cards that I'm supposedly preapproved for.  No I don't want ANYTHING you have to offer me through the mail.  Does anyone really buy anything from junk mail offers??  Does anyone really read any of this crap??  If I want something I will go looking for it myself, thank you. 

 

I've heard that mass mailings are actually on the decline probably because most people feel the same way, or more likely because its all been replaced by spam email blasts which cost nothing to print.  Why don't they invent a junk mail filter for your mailbox like the spam filters for email??  That's something I might buy, unless of course it's an offer made through junk mail?  Hahaha    This pile pictured represents about 9 inches of assorted personal and professional type junk mail I got but never read over the past month.  Buried amid this was approximately 1 inch of actual useful or necessary bills. 

 

Poor Dodie and fellow mail carriers - imagine deliverying this much junk mail to every home on their route every month.  I know some people get creative and stuff the blank papers back into the pre-paid envelopes just to mess with the mail marketers.  For me the the spirit is willing but flesh is weak; I just don't have the energy for that.  And plus some poor mail carrier on the other end would be hating me too.  Maybe I should come up with a system to stop all this worthless junk mail?  I could mass mail my offer to people...  :-)