We're moving on up... mooovin on uup... to a deeelux apartment in the sky-eye-eye... Who can name that sitcom? LOL My office is getting ready for a big move. Right now most of our department is located in a leased office park while the company builds a new 25-story office building. That new building is almost ready and so we get to move. UGH!! I HATE MOVING! And coordinating movers, and furniture, and layouts, and phones, and computers, and expensive electronic equipment, and how are we going to keep the work up while everything is being moved, and I don't want to office next to THAT person? Please just shoot me now. Or approve a 6 month long vacation request? Pretty please??
To make matters more challenging, we really like the space we are in now and especially the free parking. No one is looking forward to paying for parking again at the new building. Somewhere I read that in the Texas Medical Center each parking spot costs approximately $14,000. No, that's not a misprint - that's fourteen fricken thousand US dollars! More than the average yearly wage of most of the world's population. There's no gold mixed in the concrete, but apparently the land the concrete is poured on is just that valuable nowadays. So therefore we have to pay to park on it. Dearly. Pay to park at our own jobs. Insane? Yes, I know.
So very soon we'll have to sign up with various parking options: Option 1 - the parking garage. Which is actually located right next door to the building (somewhat of an annomaly here at Anderson) but of course the most expensive option by far, one most folks are swearing off at this point just out of spite for the cost. Option 2 - parking on a surface lot near the building (again, a surface lot actually within walking distance of the building is a luxury here at Anderson) but then of course theres all that walking involved. On a pretty day, maybe its not so bad. However, today its over 100 degrees outside and not exactly feeding the urge to stroll half a mile or more on concrete that's hot enough to melt your shoes. Option 3 - parking on a cheaper distant lot and take the MDACC shuttle or Metro. Hmmm, only there currently isn't even Metro service to the new building and the MDACC shuttles are apparently an adventure unto themselves. They inherently do not run on time and have multiple interconnecting routes, but usually not directly to where you want to go, of course. Example: Well, wait here in the heat about 30 minutes and take the green shuttle to Fannin, then get off and wait about 20 minutes to catch the purple shuttle to Mays, and then walk 2 miles to the building where your meeting is being held. Hello?? Do I look like a track star? Only in the Medical Center... where it's possible to live 5 miles from work and still have an hour commute.
As I said, our new building is 25 stories tall and apparently its going to be pretty sweet. Of course nowadays architecture can't just be normal, it's gotta be all curvy and modern. So our new building is basically rectangular on three sides with the other side curving to a point. Like a big giant boat. Ha! I'd like to see Leonardo DiCaprio lean over the edge of THAT bow! Of course that shape has been the source of jokes and nicknames for the new space - the boat, the ship, the mothership, the party boat, and my personal favorite... the love boat. Apparently some think our President looks like Gavin MacLeod? Well, if only it had swimming pools, bars, and always a happy ending... and Gopher to keep us entertained? Count me in.
When describing floor plans to staff, they were about as befuddled as I am with north/south directions... and the southeasterly facing view will overlook Bertner Street. What??? If you're sitting in the back of the boat, thats on your left. OHHHH! Now that makes sense. Your offices will be against the windows at the right side in the front of the boat. Okay, now we understand. LOL Only when I started talking port side and starboard side, I lost them again. I'm thinking we should totally have some kinda pirate themed party to break in the new space though. Anybody got a parrot I could borrow?
Though these odd directions make perfect sense to me because I'm a very visual person who has never been good at conventional directions. Don't tell me to go north for 0.8 miles and then turn east. I will most certainly wind up lost and out of my mind. And I'm not even good with street names at all. I give directions like... turn left at Subway, right two streets past the ugly blue house, and then left where Safeway used to be. If you get to the gas station that sells good burgers, you went too far. My husband just absolutely loves my directions. Loves. Them. They have been the fodder for many an interesting (read heated) discussion.
Apparently in the new open concept building, shelves and cabinets will be as extinct as dinosaurs. Everything has to be super clean, efficient, and electronic. Hmmm... that's not exactly my forte either, and I'm supposed to whip the troops into line? Lord, help me please. At present I'm in the process of encouraging employees to get rid of all excess junk and paperwork before the move. Only absolute essentials are to remain for the move. We are having "Dumpster Days"! No, seriously - that's what it's called. With fan fare and microsoft calendar invites and all. LOL All trash, clutter, and copies of 9,000 past memos must hit the dumpster. Personal items and "shrines" as my boss calls them (the 40-some-odd pictures of kids and family thumb tacked and scotch taped to all areas of the cubicle) must be taken home and brought back in very limited amounts after the move. Personally I'm finding the theory of dumpster days very refreshing. I need to have a dumpster day, or two, or 50, at my house. Get rid of all that old clutter. Move it out. Scrub clean. Repeat. Maybe I've watched too many episodes of "Hoarders" lately, but my tolerance for clutter is drastically dropping. What do you mean you're not finished with that magazine? It's been here for two whole days. Ha! Time for the trash. Only this just applies to other people's stuff. Don't touch my stuff. It's all important. Extremely vital necessary stuff. Nope, nothing to see here... keep walking.. DON'T touch it!!
Or maybe I just need some expert help to organize things? Like a maid. Like Florence from the Jeffersons? Only she certainly had more verbal skills than domestic ones. I just loved her! But my luck if I tried to hire a maid, they would never understand my directions to find the house anyway.... =)
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